Welcome to the world of Armbone

Welcome all! This is officially the spot to read stories of hilarity and vulgarity that are involved in the everyday life of a server in the restaurant industry. Some of the shit you'll read will cross some lines, so if you're easily offended by swearing, sex, race, or retard jokes then stop reading now.

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The Fry Nubs

There's this middle aged couple that come into the restaurant that are known as "The Fry Nubs". They're this weirdo pair that have the same routine everytime they come in. They always sit in a booth and the woman does all the ordering. First she orders two sweet teas. I go get the sweet teas and put one down in front of each of them. Then like fucking clockwork, the lady slides her tea over to the man, and orders a coke for herself. -(I tried to out smart them one time, and when she ordered the two teas, I was a step ahead and also brought the coke. Well when I put the teas in front of the man and the coke in front of her, she looked at me like I had two heads. Then with a pissed off look on her face, she slid the coke to her husband and ordered another coke! Cuckoo, cuckoo! Needless to say, I never tried that shit again.)- Once they get the beverage situation settled in, they order a large fry with cheddar cheese on the side and an extra plate. Here's where it re...
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Gym Do's and Don'ts

One place that I go to, to get away from the world and clear my head, is the gym. It's a place where I can go blow off stream, burn off extra energy, and basically make myself feel good about existing. The problem is, there's quite a few assholes out there that have no clue about gym etiquette. I swear these fucks are there with no idea what they're doing, and they always come close to ruining one of my favorite forms of therapy. So with all that said, let me run down a little list of unwritten rules that you need to know if you're one of these dickheads. Form - Listen, nobody gives a fuck how much weight you have on the bar. If you have 225 on the bench, and your reps consist of a 3 or 4 inch range of motion, then you're pretty much wasting your time. Do yourself a favor, drop down to 185, and do a full rep. And ask for a spot if you need it. You'll be working your muscles better, and you won't look like an as...
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KIDS vs AIDS

Good evening ladies and gentlemen! My name is Armbone Stallone, and I'm back from the dead with the same old fucked thoughts and stories I've always had. Shit's been real fucking busy the last few years for ole Armbone, so I apologize for the sabbatical. The main reason for the layoff... no it wasn't AIDS, it's motherfucking kids! And although I don't have AIDS, I do have KIDS. And I can't help but notice all the damn similarities between dealing with these two completely different life situations. Relax fuckers! Hear me out before you get all, " (cunty voice) you shouldn't joke like that you're gonna offend people!" on me. Trust me, the KIDS aren't gonna be offended. And neither will the AIDSY fucks. Example 1: COST OF LIVING Having kids is so fucking god damn expensive. They say it's about $1 million a kid by the time the little asshole is 18 and you're able to send them on their way. Lets be honest, it's more like 21...
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