A Quick Feel Good Story
I'd like to give you a quick story about a young soldier, that will give you an idea of what the fuck we're dealing with in the modern day army. A couple years ago, I was over in Kuwait on my second deployment. It was a pretty tit deployment, no danger, just pretty much everyday work as if you were in the usa. Except it gets really hot and you can never leave the base. While on base, soldiers move around in humvees and other military vehicles, but they also drive vans, pickup trucks, and John Deere Gators. Well one day, one of our young specialists backed a 15 passenger van into a Gator. For those who don't know what a Gator is, it's pretty much a beefed up 4x4 golf cart. Anyway, she backs the van into the Gator. Later on that day I had to go see this young soldier to get an accident report from her. This is pretty much exactly how the conversation went.
"Spc. I need you to tell me exactly what happened?" Armbone.
"I already told SFC Ru Paul." Spc.
"I know, but we have to fill out an actual accident report, so when the unit has to by a new $800 to $1,000 van door, they know why they're buying it." Armbone.
"800,000 DOLLARS!!!, That's how much a van door costs?!" Spc.
"What? It's a $20,000 van." Armbone.
"You said, $800,000." Spc.
"I said $800 to $1000. The fucking space shuttle door doesn't cost $800,000." Armbone.
"Oh good, I thought they were gonna be taking that outta my pay." Spc.
Yup, that should give you a good feeling about the type of soldier the army is sending overseas to protect our country.
Quick side note, as I was sitting in the chow hall tonight, eating by myself like Steven fucking Glansberg, I was blessed with a little entertainment. I got to see an Air Force private, or airman, whatever they call those fucks, drop an entire tray of food while trying to fill a cup with chocolate milk. The kid stood there and pouted like a little bitch, acting like it was someone else's fault that he's a clumsy douche bag. At least I got a good laugh while I force fed myself something that looked like it came straight from an a Alpo can. Night night boners.
"Spc. I need you to tell me exactly what happened?" Armbone.
"I already told SFC Ru Paul." Spc.
"I know, but we have to fill out an actual accident report, so when the unit has to by a new $800 to $1,000 van door, they know why they're buying it." Armbone.
"800,000 DOLLARS!!!, That's how much a van door costs?!" Spc.
"What? It's a $20,000 van." Armbone.
"You said, $800,000." Spc.
"I said $800 to $1000. The fucking space shuttle door doesn't cost $800,000." Armbone.
"Oh good, I thought they were gonna be taking that outta my pay." Spc.
Yup, that should give you a good feeling about the type of soldier the army is sending overseas to protect our country.
Quick side note, as I was sitting in the chow hall tonight, eating by myself like Steven fucking Glansberg, I was blessed with a little entertainment. I got to see an Air Force private, or airman, whatever they call those fucks, drop an entire tray of food while trying to fill a cup with chocolate milk. The kid stood there and pouted like a little bitch, acting like it was someone else's fault that he's a clumsy douche bag. At least I got a good laugh while I force fed myself something that looked like it came straight from an a Alpo can. Night night boners.
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