Drinking Sauces
Maybe the most lucrative wednesday (non-event) night ever. It was nothing but your average wednesday. Slow night, maybe make a hundred bucks if you're lucky. Well I guess I was lucky, because walking through the restaurant my ear happened to catch a conversation going on between a four top of frat-type douche bags sitting in someone else's section. One of the guys bets his boy $200 that he couldn't drink a pint of hickory bbq sauce in under 10 minutes without puking. Are you fucking kidding me! I'd drink a pint of pretty much anything for $200, so I stuck around. If frat boy turned down the bet, I was gonna jump in.
Well the shithead took the bet. Now my only hope to get in on this bet and make some money was if this dude's got a weak stomach. So I crossed my fingers and waited. Just by looking at the guy, I could tell he probably couldn't hold his liquor, let alone a pint of bbq sauce. And just as I suspected, about a half pint in and he was running to the bathroom. Opportunity knocks! I went straight to the table and said, "I'll take that bet, and I don't need the 10 minute time limit." They agreed and I was in. I made sure to see the $200 first, and sure enough there were two crispy hundreds placed on the table. I filled the pint glass with the hickory sauce and waited for them to say "Go!". I shit you not, that sauce went down in about 3 seconds like it was a fucking jager-bomb. I slammed the glass down, wiped my mouth, grabbed the money, pointed to the habanero hot sauce on the table, and said "I'll do the hot sauce for $300". Then I turned around and I walked away.
The guys huddled around the table for a couple minutes, then called me over. They told me they'd give me another $200 for the hot sauce. Well I know what I said, but they told me they wouldn't have enough to pay their tab if they agreed to $300. Fair enough reason. So just like the first bet, I made sure to see the money. Two more crispy Benjamin's. And just like the first bet, the sauce went down like water. Jackpot! $400 in the pocket after about 20 minutes worth of "work". By the way, these assholes recorded the whole thing and said they'd put it on Youtube, but I never checked.
Well I worked the rest of the shift with no real issues. Nothing more then a slight stomach ache, but kept a poker face like I was completely fine. I finished the shift with $130 from actually waiting tables and $400 from drinking sauces. Punched in at 5 and was out around 8:30. I'd say a pretty successful night, until I got home and midnight rolled around. It was like a switch went off and I had to book it to the bathroom before hell broke loose. I made it to the toliet just before the flood gates openned. The first round of violent puking felt like I was blowing straight fire out my mouth. Round two was different. Like magic, the hickory followed, coating the throat, blocking the heat, and saving me from pure agony. I thought I was scott free and $530 richer until the next morning when I became the fire breathing ass dragon. I swear I blew fire out my ass for about an hour. Thank god I had four Ben Franklins to wipe the tears from my eyes and sweat from my forehead.
Well the shithead took the bet. Now my only hope to get in on this bet and make some money was if this dude's got a weak stomach. So I crossed my fingers and waited. Just by looking at the guy, I could tell he probably couldn't hold his liquor, let alone a pint of bbq sauce. And just as I suspected, about a half pint in and he was running to the bathroom. Opportunity knocks! I went straight to the table and said, "I'll take that bet, and I don't need the 10 minute time limit." They agreed and I was in. I made sure to see the $200 first, and sure enough there were two crispy hundreds placed on the table. I filled the pint glass with the hickory sauce and waited for them to say "Go!". I shit you not, that sauce went down in about 3 seconds like it was a fucking jager-bomb. I slammed the glass down, wiped my mouth, grabbed the money, pointed to the habanero hot sauce on the table, and said "I'll do the hot sauce for $300". Then I turned around and I walked away.
The guys huddled around the table for a couple minutes, then called me over. They told me they'd give me another $200 for the hot sauce. Well I know what I said, but they told me they wouldn't have enough to pay their tab if they agreed to $300. Fair enough reason. So just like the first bet, I made sure to see the money. Two more crispy Benjamin's. And just like the first bet, the sauce went down like water. Jackpot! $400 in the pocket after about 20 minutes worth of "work". By the way, these assholes recorded the whole thing and said they'd put it on Youtube, but I never checked.
Well I worked the rest of the shift with no real issues. Nothing more then a slight stomach ache, but kept a poker face like I was completely fine. I finished the shift with $130 from actually waiting tables and $400 from drinking sauces. Punched in at 5 and was out around 8:30. I'd say a pretty successful night, until I got home and midnight rolled around. It was like a switch went off and I had to book it to the bathroom before hell broke loose. I made it to the toliet just before the flood gates openned. The first round of violent puking felt like I was blowing straight fire out my mouth. Round two was different. Like magic, the hickory followed, coating the throat, blocking the heat, and saving me from pure agony. I thought I was scott free and $530 richer until the next morning when I became the fire breathing ass dragon. I swear I blew fire out my ass for about an hour. Thank god I had four Ben Franklins to wipe the tears from my eyes and sweat from my forehead.
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