Gym Do's and Don'ts
One place that I go to, to get away from the world and clear my head, is the gym. It's a place where I can go blow off stream, burn off extra energy, and basically make myself feel good about existing. The problem is, there's quite a few assholes out there that have no clue about gym etiquette. I swear these fucks are there with no idea what they're doing, and they always come close to ruining one of my favorite forms of therapy. So with all that said, let me run down a little list of unwritten rules that you need to know if you're one of these dickheads.
Form- Listen, nobody gives a fuck how much weight you have on the bar. If you have 225 on the bench, and your reps consist of a 3 or 4 inch range of motion, then you're pretty much wasting your time. Do yourself a favor, drop down to 185, and do a full rep. And ask for a spot if you need it. You'll be working your muscles better, and you won't look like an asshole. I'm in the gym today and this fucking kid's got 185 on the incline bench, and he's pushing out 3 inch reps. Douch bag. And on top of that, he's screaming while he pushes, like it's a fucking ton. Double douche bag. Which leads me to my next topic.
Screaming- Nobody in the gym wants to hear you grunt and groan. The only time this is acceptable, is if you're putting up serious weight on the bench, deadlifting a shit-ton, squating a dumptruck, or giving birth. Most likely you're not doing any of these things, so do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up. This will draw less attention to yourself, thus making less people notice how fucking clueless you are.
iPod use- I have nothing against listening to an iPod in the gym. It allows you to get in a zone, tune out the bullshit, and focus on your workout. But keep the volume on your shit down! Not everyone wants to hear what your listening to. And it should be common fucking courtesy to keep that shit to yourself. The only thing more annoying then hearing the muffled sound of someone else's music, is when the dickhead sings or raps along to the music out loud. Which is exactly what the screaming, 3 inch rep doing douche bag, was doing in between his sets. I seriously wanted to crow hop, and over hand right this fuck in his mouth.
Cell Phones- The only time you should have your phone in the gym, is if it also acts as your iPod, or if your wife could go into labor at any time (notice how I cover my own ass). The gym should be a place to get away from the outside world for a little while. If you're on the phone then obviously you're not dedicated to what you're there for. So you can take your god damn phone, and your fucking xtra medium t-shirt, and get the fuck out. Which leads me to the last topic.
Clothing- When working out in the gym, you should wear actual workout clothing. Comfortable shit. Shorts, sweatpants, t-shirt, sweatshirt, ect. Shit that allows you to move around and breath. Don't be going to the gym on your lunch break from your construction site, or garage, and workout in the clothes you're already wearing. Pack a fucking gym bag, because nobody likes the smell of diesel fuel wafting in the air while they're running on a treadmill. And please stop going to gym wearing the same shirt you wore to whatever jersey shore, fist pumping party you were at the night before. Leave the Affliction t-shirt at home and try out a white T, you're not immpressing anyone ya fucking loser.
There's a lot more shit I could vent about pertaining to the do's and don'ts of proper gym etiquette, but I'll stop here. If you are one of these people, then study this guide. If you do, I promise you that less people will want to smash your face in with a 50lbs dumbbell. Stay fit armboners.
Form- Listen, nobody gives a fuck how much weight you have on the bar. If you have 225 on the bench, and your reps consist of a 3 or 4 inch range of motion, then you're pretty much wasting your time. Do yourself a favor, drop down to 185, and do a full rep. And ask for a spot if you need it. You'll be working your muscles better, and you won't look like an asshole. I'm in the gym today and this fucking kid's got 185 on the incline bench, and he's pushing out 3 inch reps. Douch bag. And on top of that, he's screaming while he pushes, like it's a fucking ton. Double douche bag. Which leads me to my next topic.
Screaming- Nobody in the gym wants to hear you grunt and groan. The only time this is acceptable, is if you're putting up serious weight on the bench, deadlifting a shit-ton, squating a dumptruck, or giving birth. Most likely you're not doing any of these things, so do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up. This will draw less attention to yourself, thus making less people notice how fucking clueless you are.
iPod use- I have nothing against listening to an iPod in the gym. It allows you to get in a zone, tune out the bullshit, and focus on your workout. But keep the volume on your shit down! Not everyone wants to hear what your listening to. And it should be common fucking courtesy to keep that shit to yourself. The only thing more annoying then hearing the muffled sound of someone else's music, is when the dickhead sings or raps along to the music out loud. Which is exactly what the screaming, 3 inch rep doing douche bag, was doing in between his sets. I seriously wanted to crow hop, and over hand right this fuck in his mouth.
Cell Phones- The only time you should have your phone in the gym, is if it also acts as your iPod, or if your wife could go into labor at any time (notice how I cover my own ass). The gym should be a place to get away from the outside world for a little while. If you're on the phone then obviously you're not dedicated to what you're there for. So you can take your god damn phone, and your fucking xtra medium t-shirt, and get the fuck out. Which leads me to the last topic.
Clothing- When working out in the gym, you should wear actual workout clothing. Comfortable shit. Shorts, sweatpants, t-shirt, sweatshirt, ect. Shit that allows you to move around and breath. Don't be going to the gym on your lunch break from your construction site, or garage, and workout in the clothes you're already wearing. Pack a fucking gym bag, because nobody likes the smell of diesel fuel wafting in the air while they're running on a treadmill. And please stop going to gym wearing the same shirt you wore to whatever jersey shore, fist pumping party you were at the night before. Leave the Affliction t-shirt at home and try out a white T, you're not immpressing anyone ya fucking loser.
There's a lot more shit I could vent about pertaining to the do's and don'ts of proper gym etiquette, but I'll stop here. If you are one of these people, then study this guide. If you do, I promise you that less people will want to smash your face in with a 50lbs dumbbell. Stay fit armboners.
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